Above : For the ka-zillionth time !

I’ve tried it infinite times already. But somewhere I feel that time’s a running out. So this will be my infinite + one-nt attempt.

Starting tomorrow.

Arggh. Procrastination has set in already !

Update : 8th Sep ’09 : Failed attempt. Will try tomorrow.

Above : Iron Man poster being used to depict rage…for the lack of a better option

Anger has happened.

Mr. wikipedia simply defines it as “anger is an emotion”.  (and then it goes on to explain how horribly wrong it is to have that emotion right next to aids… seriously, who wrote that shit?).

Further research into ‘wrath’ from Mr. Wikipedia reveals ‘wrath’ as “an inordinate and uncontrolled feeling of hatred or anger“. Therefore, by applying a simple theorem (if A=B, B=C then A=C), we get the definition of ‘wrath’ as “an inordinate and uncontrolled feeling of hatred or emotion“. Now, as I love to say, that’s just WHACK.

In the midst of all this ambiguity and A=B=C, I’d like to also put-forth my definition of anger.
Anger (pronounced as hanger without the ‘h’) is defined as the uncontrollable feeling to smash a baseball bat on somebody’s face and continue doing so till the face looks like a pulp and becomes two-dimensional… followed by having a full bottle of J. Walker on that particular ‘somebody’s’ dead body… alone. (Beware : vengeance is defined as something completely more severe).

So Why am I angry ?
I am angry because today I witnessed some innocent people becoming victims of somebody’s greed.

To clarify. I am not angry at that “somebody” who I wanna beat to a pulp so bad. I’m angry at myself.

There’s a very famous saying / proverb / pearl of wisdom / drunken utterance in hindi which essentially means … “Whenever you see a snake , kill it (for it’s gonna bite u anyways when it grows up … or longer).”
I guess I didn’t pay too much attention to that one.

I’m itching to write in detail, but alas I can’t. I really wanna just let it all out. But I’ll have to refrain.

I know it don’t make no sense. But that’ll be all folks (or folk!)

]]> http://suds30.wordpress.com/2009/08/28/a-n-g-r-y-post/feed/ 1 suds http://suds30.wordpress.com/2009/08/16/a-twist-with-desity/ http://suds30.wordpress.com/2009/08/16/a-twist-with-desity/#comments Sun, 16 Aug 2009 16:22:07 +0000 suds http://suds30.wordpress.com/?p=93 Continue reading →]]> I know this is a day late, but then what the heck ?! Our country just celebrated its 62nd Independence Day. A day which we are all sensitized to during boring History lessons in school. I’m sure all of us made posters with crayons / water colours on the Independence Day back in the day. (If you didn’t, you were a really geeky kid in school).

Credit for this pic goes to the original photoshopper, and Google.

This post is not about the usual crib. “Look at the corruption and red tape … we’re still not independent!” and “Where’s the patriotism nowadays ?” and the “well I did my bit by trying for the IAF, but they rejected me on medical grounds … not my fault !”.

This post is about my speech. Similar to the “I have a dream” and “Tryst with Destiny”. A speech I’d've given standing at the Red Fort if I was the bloody PM. So here goes : “A Twist with Destiny” (Inspired by a latest movie, Love Aaj Kal)

“Goodmorning fuckers. Well you are fuckers ‘coz you’re hell bent on becoming the largest population in the world from the second largest. Trust me, there is no trophy waiting at the end of the line of this race !. Anyways, screw that.

So how is your 62ndd ID going ? How is it any different from your 61std or your 58th ? How do you imagine your 63rd to be ? Or for that matter, your 100th ID to be ? Do you still want a power cut just after you go back home from hearing me drag on this kite flying competition into a boring monologue ? Anyways, screw that as well. You’re not here to hear profoundities and profanities from me are you ?

So I’ll just tell you what I’m gonna do this year. And you better twist while listening.

First off, I’m gonna stop all this War on Terror Mumbo Jumbo. Instead, I’m gonna start our very own “Fund your Terror” … fund. I’m sure you all know that popular saying, “If you can’t beat ‘em, Join ‘em”. We’ll make ‘em specialize in killing corrupt politicians, bearuecrats, govt. officials, policement, etc. I mean caaamon! We’re like a billion people and above, we can afford to off a couple of lakhs can’t we ? It’s all for the good after all !

Next up, I’m gonna end the bloody fiasco and give Kashmir to Pakistan once and for all. Then, I’m gonna use our terrorists to ‘capture’ Kashmir and screw Pak. I’m sure we can do a much better job at terrorism than ‘em like in everything else.

Then, I’m gonna revoke Article 377. This will provide employment to the millions of closet makers in the country again. And ofcourse give half of the buggers something to riot about.

All religious extremists will from now on, be free to roam about and play as much as they want. This provides all 24 hour news channels some good content and Barkha Dutt something to fret about. Not to mention the ga-zillion of you fuckers who tune in every night to watch a sensationalized version of truth.

I’ll be banning all reality TV programes and … Rakhi Sawant. No reason for this. It’s just Crap.

Electricity will be free for all. All tax payers will be paying 1% extra tax in the form of Electricity Cess. There will be equitable distribution. Nobody will be allowed to crib.

Marijuana will be made legal. Psychologists and Psychotherapists will be abolished (as a job only … they can turn into drug peddlars).

There will be reservations. From now on, all so called ‘General ffublic’ will get a 0.5% reservation in all schools and colleges and private companies. Public companies will be exclusively for the backward, downtrodden and incapable. I understand that the ‘creamy’ layer will face extreme competition because of this. Well don’t worry, I’m also starting a “PM’s creamy layer fund” through which all creamy layer will get Rs. 1 Cr. per annum for the rest of their lives. Donations will be compulsory for all tax payers.

Sony will be forced to drop prices of its PS3 console and games by 99%. Balance 1% will be reimbursable by the government to all children below the age of 30. Tax Payers will not even feel it.

Lastly, marijuana will be made legal. Oh wait ! I already mentioned that !

Have a good one !”

– end –

]]> http://suds30.wordpress.com/2009/08/16/a-twist-with-desity/feed/ 2 suds http://suds30.wordpress.com/2009/08/16/revisiting-st-suds-in-poland/ http://suds30.wordpress.com/2009/08/16/revisiting-st-suds-in-poland/#comments Sun, 16 Aug 2009 07:20:14 +0000 suds http://suds30.wordpress.com/?p=91 Continue reading →]]> Day before yesterday’s trip got me thinking about my ‘study’ trip to Poland back in the day. The ‘day’ when we made ‘hay’ as they say (well even if ‘they’ don’t say, they should!). So I finally completed the arduous task of uploading that old blog onto this new one.

Click the image above or click here.

Brought back many – a – good memories. A nice way to spend a slow Sunday I think … like flippin’ through an old album… Sigh!

Click here to read ‘n see all about it.

The trip has raised some interesting questions and interests in the mind, but we’ll leave that for later…

]]> http://suds30.wordpress.com/2009/08/15/a-quicky-with-the-gods/feed/ 0 suds http://suds30.wordpress.com/2009/08/13/love-aaj-kal/ http://suds30.wordpress.com/2009/08/13/love-aaj-kal/#comments Thu, 13 Aug 2009 17:48:27 +0000 suds http://suds30.wordpress.com/?p=40 Continue reading →]]> OK.
This is a first. It might be a little gay. But it’s here.

Above : I never knew it would ever come to this.

I’ve never written about a movie on any of my blogs. Leave alone a Bollywood flick ! Yet, change is like a fuckin’ black hole. Nothing escapes it. Not light. Not time. Not even Suds 3.0 !

See, I’ve been livin’ in Punjab for the past 19 months. Lemme repeat that again for you. Past 19 months. Wait a min, just in case someone might miss the point, lemme repeat it in italics and bold. Past 19 months… in P.U.N.J.A.B. So it’s bound to happen that I am gonna catch a punjabi flu or two over here.

Anyhow, so in order to escape the plight of the 5 hour daily powercut between 1 PM to 6 PM o’er here, I decided to go watch this movie for atleast the air conditioning in the movie hall. I have to say, by the end of the movie, I was pleasantly surprised ! Really !

This one actually had a relevant story for a change ! I mean I’m not talking about the run-of-the-mill-everybody-can-be-a-screenwriter love story. I’m talking about the whole deal about people being practical and long distance etc. etc. I guess also why this one struck a chord is because this one is a little close to the heart as well.

Now this is not a fuckin’ review so I’m not really gonna go on writin’ about the whole nonsense about characters and cast and acting and production values etc. I’ll just say this, movie making seems to have come a long way / of age in bollywood. (OK ! So I don’t watch a lotta bolly movies).

Ofcourse on the downside I did feel that a song or two were really uncalled for and completely just stuffed in as usual. And then ofcourse bloody bollywood went in for a happy ending again with love triumphing over all that is grey matter making it a bollywood flick in the end after all. I mean why couldn’t it have been like the Break-up ! That did well too… and that makes more sense (well atleast in my view).

But overall package was good, entertaining. I’d give it a 7 on 10 on my scale. (A slight relevance in the story earns it a couple of bonus points as I mentioned earlier)

Anyhow, now I’m scared as well of becoming too punjabi … or gay ~~~Ahun Ahun Ahun~~~

“…Man, I see in fight club the strongest and smartest men who’ve ever lived. I see all this potential, and I see squandering. God damn it, an entire generation pumping gas, waiting tables; slaves with white collars. Advertising has us chasing cars and clothes, working jobs we hate so we can buy shit we don’t need. We’re the middle children of history, man. No purpose or place. We have no Great War. No Great Depression. Our Great War’s a spiritual war… our Great Depression is our lives. We’ve all been raised on television to believe that one day we’d all be millionaires, and movie gods, and rock stars. But we won’t. And we’re slowly learning that fact. And we’re very, very pissed off…” – Tyler Durden

I think all of us enter the Vortex every now and then.
Some return to it sooner than others. But everybody does time in it.
That dreading feeling of helplessness. That haunting thought of life not really moving anywhere. Doubt. Confusion. Frustration. At that point in life you do feel that microscopic dot on that microscopic dot. You look around, seeking confidence, seeking motivation, seeking an aim. You turn up with nothing but sand.

I just spent three weeks in the vortex – harsh solitary confinement.

The road goes only in two directions from here. One is the Zaphod Beeblebrox way, and the other is the Second Mouse way. We’ll start with the Zaphod Beeblebrox way first. Our man ZB got an artificial universe created for especially for himself. That alternate universe had a planet FrogStar World B (just like the original one) which had the Total Perspective Vortex device on it. So Zaphod entered the device in his own artificial universe and when the machine showed him “You Are Here”, Zaphod conveniently assumed that it meant that the device was simply telling him that he was the most important being in the universe (it was his universe afterall).
At this point of time I would also like to deduce that Douglas Adams had probably the most awesome substance induced trips in the universe.

So this first road essentially is all about recalibrating the priorities and emotions to suit the current situation.

The second one, however, is the even more interesting one and comes from Catch me if you can.
There were two mice who were put in two separate glasses full of milk. The first mouse panicked and splashed around, trying to come out of the glass. Eventually it got tired, drowned and died. The second mouse, however, decided not to splash around. Instead, he started churning the milk. He churned the milk so hard, that the milk eventually got converted to butter and he finally climbed on top of it and got out of the glass.

And just as Christopher Walken says in Catch Me If You Can, “I am that second mouse”.

That, my dear (one-or-two) friends, is the twisted explanation for Why Suds 3.0.

Above : The second mouse that came outta the vortex

As for the rest of the title, “O Brother ! Why Bother ?”. It’s an expression … a shrug.
I’ve been blogging for the last 4 years now (VERY on-and-off). I’ve grown from a blogger account to photo-blogs to own-domain Suds 2.0 to now Suds 3.0. All of it has been very futile. I sincerely believe that people blog either because they think that they have something very important to say or because they have the Zaphod Beeblebrox mentality (explained above). For some reason, now I realize, that I have neither. Imagine this, just out of kicks I contacted Google Adsense for putting ads on my blog … and they returned a message which essentially meant “your blog has nothing of value, it is pure un-adultrated crap … so we don’t think we wanna waste our breath on it”.

So this one’s gonna be nothing but a shrug. A microscopic dot as seen from the Total Perspective Vortex. A story of the second mouse.

Oh and one last thing. The image has changed from the Fallout 3 capture earlier on to the bike because … well … coz I bought a Bul’t (The punjabi pronounciation of it).